New Mexico Humor & Clean Jokes About NM
The Best Email Jokes About New Mexico
New Mexico humor tends to center around things that, to natives, are wryly accurate. People from outside the state may not understand why it's funny to have a crushed rock lawn or why turn signals are a sign of weakness.
If you're from The Land of Enchantment, though, you understand exactly what we're talking about.
While most of us with ties to New Mexico have seen and heard a few jokes about our "quirks", there is actually a real plethora of humor out there. This just happens to be a collection of my favorite humorous sayings.
Although these jokes poke fun at us and our lifestyle as New Mexicans, they are clean, safe for work, and safe to mail on. In fact, these jokes have been emailed, revised and re-emailed for at least 10 years, especially between locals and natives of the state.
I'll bet that if you're a New Mexican, you have either:
1. already seen this email and forwarded it to another New Mexican
2. you will laugh and then send it on to your friends and family.
Ok, I know. Maybe it's in bad taste to make fun of my home state. But these jokes are actually pretty accurate and most New Mexicans will laugh at them.
And if you're not from New Mexico, hopefully you'll find them humorous as well! (Or it may encourage you to visit and see if they're really true.) (They really are!)
Click Here To Buy Whole Books Of New Mexico Humor!
So, read on and see why...
*You buy green chile by the bushel and red chile by the gallon.
*You can correctly pronounce words like Tesuque, Cerrillos, Acoma, Buena, Ocotillo, Cochiti, Pojoaque, Socorro and Isleta (and you know what or where they are).
*You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for international shipping.
*You have been complimented in other states for how well you speak English.
*You know what an arroyo is.
*You expect to pay more if your house is made of straw and mud.
*You can order your Big Mac with green chile.
*You buy salsa by the half-gallon.
*You know what it means when they say, "it's from Hatch".
*Your Christmas decorations include red chiles, a half-ton of sand, and 200 paper bags. And chile pepper lights on your tree.
*You believe that bags of sand with a candle in them are perfectly acceptable Christmas decorations.
*Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.
*You can actually hear the Taos hum.
*You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.
*You iron your jeans to dress up.
*You know what to say when a waitress asks, "red or green?"
*You have an extra freezer just for chile.
*You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer potholes.
*You believe using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.
*You price-shop for tortillas.
*You think you know how to drive in the rain or snow.
*You wish you had invested in the orange barrel business and shovels.
*Tumbleweeds and various cactus in your yard are not weeds. They are your lawn.
*Your hardware store or Walmart sells snow sleds in the summer to use at White Sands... but you can hardly find them in the winter.
*You think six tons of crushed rock make for beautiful landscaping.
*A package of white flour tortillas is the exact same thing as a loaf of bread. You don’t need to write it on your shopping list, it’s a given.
*At any gathering, regardless of size, green chile stew, tortillas, and huge mounds of shredded cheese are mandatory.
*Most restaurants you go to begin with 'El' or 'Los'.
*You’ve had a school day cancelled because there was half an inch of snow on the ground.
*You know what bartering is, and how to do it in at least 2 different languages.
*You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every word alternates between Spanish and English.
*You actually get these jokes and pass them on.
*You spent years saying you were leaving this backward no-account expensive place and never coming back; and when you leave you realize there's no place like New Mexico and you will retire here.
S*** Burqueños Say
If you have spent any time in New Mexico, Albuquerque especially, you'll probably be familiar with these quirks. The videos are safe for work.
I hope you enjoyed our New Mexico humor. Please share these free jokes with your friends, families, and across social media, because let's admit it, we're pretty funny!
And If You've Enjoyed It So Far... Then you'll love this video! Along the same lines, this next video is a humorous tribute to the 505 (& 575).